In swinging, the intent is to engage in non monogamous sexual behavior without the development of love, affection or personal intimacy between oneself and the secondary partners. Swingers generally seek to engage in recreational sex without emotional intimacy.
Although single women are generally welcome at swinging events, the degree to which single men are accepted varies from club to club. Although female bisexuality is generally accepted in the swinging community, the degree to which male bisexuality is accepted also varies from club to club. Swing clubs can be “on premises” (which means that one may interact sexually with others at that event) or “off premises” (which means that one would generally go back to the home or hotel room of other couples for sex, after deciding to do so at the event).
In the context of swinging, “couples” need not be married. They should, however, have at least a little history together and familiarity with each others’ emotional needs, and be comfortable approaching others as a “couple.” The general rule of thumb is that swinging works best when couples view swinging as an enhancement to their existing sexual relationship, rather than as a replacement for a failing one.
There are several different styles of swinging which you may see in the swinging community. Some people may prefer not to be around when their partner is having sex with someone else (“closed swinging”), while others may insist on it (“open swinging”). The term “soft swinging” refers to trading partners just for the purposes of heavy petting and then switching back to one’s primary partner for any actual sex. It might be valuable for you to think about whether there are any potential situations that you feel you would be more or less comfortable in, and discuss these with your partner.
At off premises events such as dances, it’s common for people to dress up or else wear fairly sexy clothing. Dress at on premises events tends to be more casual, since nudity is a common outcome of the evening for many. At on premises clubs it’s a good idea to bring something like a robe so you don’t have to put all your clothes back on after sex, and to avoid wearing lots of jewelry that might get lost. If there’s a dress theme for a particular event, go with the theme.
By the way, it is not necessary to actually have sex with other people to have a good time in the swinging community. Off premises activities such as dances can provide a wonderful opportunity to flirt and be flirted with in a non threatening yet sexually charged atmosphere, which can be fun in and of itself. On premises activities can provide an opportunity to appreciate the sights and sounds of sex as an enhancement to sex with your primary partner, whether you two decide to have sex at the party or after the party.